I don’t mind if you
fake your orgasm. No, really, go right ahead. What’s more, I’ll tell you that
I’ve faked orgasms in the past, and if you think that makes me a bad person, or
a pitiable sex-deprived creature, then you can fuck a thousand miles off.
In general, if you’re engaging in safe and consensual acts,
sex positive people will cheer on your lubed-up love with an open heart and a
total lack of judgment.
Unless you fake your orgasms.
Why do we think it’s bad to fake an orgasm?
This blog was prompted by the revelation today that men fake
orgasms too. Cue tortured commenters screaming ‘how the fuck is that possible?’
and the inevitable smackdown by sensible people saying ‘well, duh, of course
men do this sometimes – they are human.’
Whenever the subject of faking orgasms is raised, the
general consensus is that it is a bad thing to do, for one of the following
reasons:
If you fake an orgasm, how is your partner supposed to know
how to give you a real orgasm? You’ll be giving them the wrong impression,
making them think that fumbling half-heartedly with your clit is the most
surefire way to send you to heaven and back. Ergo you end up in a vicious cycle
of rewarding poor performance, until your entire sex life consists of limp
clit-fumbling gand your own exaggerated screams.
If you fake an orgasm, it’s because you don’t realise that
actually it’s perfectly normal for people not to orgasm. Thus, when you fake,
you reinforce society’s ideas that orgasms are de rigeur, even if the shag
you’ve just partaken in lasted less than the time it’d take for the kettle to
boil.
If you fake an orgasm, you are tacitly supporting the idea
that orgasms are the Only Possible Goal Of Sex, and so both you and your
partner will fail to spend time on the non-orgasmic things you enjoy. Like
beating each other with wooden spoons or licking cream cheese from the inside
of their ear canal, or whatever it is you get up to.
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